I am back. After a prolonged absence, of which I was not idle, I have returned with new information about trolls, what makes them tick, what their interests are, etc.
Let me start by saying, they are extremely shy, when confronted face to face, so I was unable to get photos of them in their natural environment. It took me weeks before one would even deign to talk to me, as I am a naturally friendly and outgoing type of person, and they tend to be withdrawn, surly and highly secretive. But at last, I befriended,(kinda), one of them, and he, showed me around, but out of respect, I will not reveal who it was.
Hmmm. Where to begin? I was told, that the vast majority of the trolls came about when they were dropped on their heads as newborns, and that, after reaching a certain age majority, they became drawn to such people as themselves, who, by coincidence were dropped on their heads as well. These people got together and formed their own trolldom, and agreed (Gasp) that Rush Limbaugh would be their god, and proceeded to set up trollevision sets all over their trolldom. Yes, once a day, everyone would all gather in circles around their trollevisons, and form a conga-line while shouting Limbaugh, Limbaugh, Limbaugh! The chant was done to an old Ray Stevens song, Camp Doggone if I Know.
These people decided to raise their kids the same way they were raised, so it became a law, that each newborn was dropped on their head at birth, so they would turn out the same way. ( Shock!) Needless to say, at this bit of information, I had to take some time off in order to process this horrible law. But, a few days later, and with the excuse I had been ill, I returned.
In which he proceeded to tell me some of their interests. They, like us, have music, such tunes as, I'm a Trolllll-Mannnn, I was a Troll-miners daughter, Troll-on-down-the Road.... etc. Their favorite musical artists are Willy Troll, Fatsy Slime, Big-Fat-Rear and the Haters....etc.
Some of their trollevision shows include, Trolling for Doll-hairs, Whose Troll is it anyway, who wants to be a Trollinaire, Trollian Nation, and Trollsie Come Home- (an old classic.)
Their modes of transportation leave something to be desired, as it is quite hard and uncomfortable, usually quite crowed, noisy, and very out-dated; yes, it is a Troll-E car. Let's not even get into their trollet-paper.( we call it John Wayne T.P.)
The only time they really get along, is when the male trolls meet some women trolls, go out get smashed and have sex, this is what they consider mating-season. Once the female has been determined that she is knocked up, and the identity of the father confirmed, the male is reluctantly dragged to the Church of Limbaugh, and forced to wed. After the child is born, and another DNA test is run, the couple usually stays together, as no one else can stand to be around them when they aren't together...( safety in numbers I guess.)
They make a habit of annoying those that have different opinions, as that is the only real pleasure they get in life, (their partner, after the baby-troll is born, usually decides to become frigid, or changes sexual preference, thus, neither one gets sex anymore),
Part of their funeral service quotes are, " From Limbaugh he/she sprang, and to Limbaugh he/she returns" Limbaugh have mercy on their souls, Cause Westbourough Baptists won't. Yes, about the only thing the trolls and the regulars have in common, is, neither one of us like that church, and with that, I will end this insightful article on the Secret World of Trolls...